suhonghai88
幼苗
共回答了28个问题采纳率:89.3% 举报
帮楼主改了一下,意见如下,
1.some kinds of behaviors 改为 some behaviors;
2.in White Day 改为 on White Day;
3.are not helpful for建议改为are harmful to;
4.primary student 改为 primary school student;
5.When I was a primary student,there was a friend of mine,he just gave peperos to the friends who were tall.这句从语法上来讲是错误的,有两套主谓关系.建议改为When I was a primary school student,a friend of mine just gave peperos to the friends who were tall.
6.a great deal of trouble 建议改为plenty of troubles;
7.between the friends who were tall and the friends who were short 较为啰嗦,建议改为 between tall and short friends;
8.And I think we don’t need use the gift to show our true friendship to our friends.“And I think we don’t need” 这个表达相当累赘,而且更像是把中文直译过来,不符合英文表达习惯.英文里通常会说I don't think we need...建议改为In my opinion,we don't need show our true friendship to our friends via gift.
9.On Pepero Day it is not just giving friendship and receiving friendship.建议改为Pepero Day is not just about giving and receiving friendship.
10.People use this way which is giving and receiving gift to develop friendship,certainly this way is a waste of money.这句话又是两个主谓关系,即people use和way is.建议改为,It is certainly a waste of money by giving and receiving gift to develop friendship.
11.结尾Maybe by giving gift will make someone happy but it is just for a short-time not for ever.中的Maybe会弱化作者的观点,显得自己也在怀疑自己的样子,建议去掉.整句建议改为Sending gift will probably make someone happy for a while but the happiness won't last forever.
1年前
7