急:帮我把下面的英语修改下!懂英语的进

首先,楼主的文章写得已经很好了,有景,有事,有情,尤其是后面离别的那段,感情和语言把握的很好.不过既然楼主这么开诚布公的让大家改,那么我就真诚的提几个建议,这样的话不是只把你一篇文章改好,更重要的是对你的英语有所帮助：
1, We should know that the sun is always shining 我们知道,太阳永远都照耀着地球的.因此第一句话必须删除,外国人从来不在描写景物的时候说“太阳在照着”的,因为严格来讲,是一句废话.就好像说“我在呼吸”一样.
2,独立意义的话结尾（有自己的主、谓、宾等完整结构的,先这样跟你解释）一定要用句号,否则就是一个语法错误.比如你的第一句,一定要说成The sun was shining. The flowers are beautiful.如果一定要连在一起,那么可以在flowers前面加and.
3,时态.在一篇叙事短文里,时态要保持一致,比如说你的第一句话就要改成一般过去时.还有所有的will都要改成would.
4,sing后面不能加music,这里只能加song,中文里也没有“唱了一些音乐的说法”啊.
先说这些,下面我给你多改一些.
It was a beautiful and magical day, when the glorious sun was hanging on the vast heavens, and the flowers were in full bloom. All these had painted an enchanting picture.
My friends and I went to KTV. We sung lots of songs with melodious music, thus we enjoyed ourselves.However,in the late afternoon, we all realized that we had to go different ways. Perhaps, we would not see each other for a long time in future, because everyone has his own way to go in his life. At that moment, I knew that we would cherish our friendship in our minds,forever.
我写的主要突出了景物和后来的伤感,另外你的那句每个人都有不同的人生路,我翻译成每个人都有自己的人生路要走,这样符合外国人说英语的习惯,而不是chinese english.
先这样,有什么问题你再给我留言,祝你英语学的越来越好!

We have sung some lovely music.用一般过去时就可以了．
每个人都有不同的人生路we each have a different way of life
I know that we will keep our friendship in our heart heart用复数．

The sun was shining, the flowers were beautiful. My friends and I went to the KTV. We enjoyed ourselves. We sang some lovely songs. In the late afternoon, we all realise that we will be heading in dif...

The sun was shinning, the flowers were beautiful. My friends and I went to the KTV together. We enjoyed ourselves and sang many lovely songs. However, in the late afternoon, we had to say good-bye and...

the sun is shining,the flowers are facing the sun and smiling.my friends and i went to the KTV for entertaining.YES,we really enjoyed ourselves in the songs and fantastic musics.both my friends and i ...

The sun was shining,flowers were becautiful.(因为这里根据语境，你强调的是过去的某一天，所以不能用一般时态，要用过去时。）My friends and i went to the KTV.We enjoyed ourselves.We have sung some lovely songs.(music是不可数名次，而且泛指音乐。具体唱歌要说 sing ...

动词时态要一致。前面说is,are, 后面用went, enjoyed,矛盾。I knew that our friendship would live in our hearts forever.

The sun was shining and the flowers were so beautiful. I went to the KTV with my friends. There we enjoyed ourselves greatly. We have sung some lovely songs. In the late afternoon, we all noticed that...

每个人都有不同的人生路.
Everyone has a different way of life