英语作文改错求帮助啊~希望有人能帮我把我朋友的错误改出来呢!

英语作文改错求帮助啊~希望有人能帮我把我朋友的错误改出来呢!

英语老师要求互相修改作文呢,但是我自己都错误连篇 怎么给别人改错啊 求帮忙啊!
上面是图片
下面是原文内容：
In the sunday,I look out of the wundow,In my house downstairs.I have a some park chitdren playing in the park. The weather is sunny .There was a sliver of the sun peeking out from the horizon ,bright red full of energy .A lot of people them chairs under the tree,There are taking with another people .Not for away a fashion girl walking the day in the small path ,the sky slowy change the red .The cloud on the sky .A heliopter fly over my head.There are people look at very comfortable .Pick up my phone ,I see my phone show .I 'm not a magisian you are .You come into my pitch black world .And easily become the brightest star .my mother say me to eat dinner .so ,ending

我朋友的停顿我也不知道他是怎么停的 好几个单词后面都是好多个点的

希望有人能帮我修改下错误呢 - - 我估计我朋友也把我的发到网上求助了