有一篇英语作文,请各位提一点修改意见,
有一篇英语作文,请各位提一点修改意见,
To explore or not to explore,that is a question
It is reported that there were eighteen students of Fudan University went to explore the Huang mountain several months before.At that time they met with great danger and called for help.The rescue team reached timelly and took them to safety.But a policeman lost his life unfortunately,we all felt sorry for him.
After that ,”whether students should be encouraged to explore”bacame a topic of conversation.
In my opinion,students should not be encouraged to explore.students are just children,they are too young,they haven’t got a lot of experience of exploration.they don’t know what to take and what can eat,they don’t know where to live in mountain and where to take clean water,they also don’t know how to deal some dangerous situation.in one word,these students are inexperienced,exploration is dangerous for them.
If they really want to explore,they must learn a lot of knowledge about living in the wild place.they should also employ a local tour guide who is familiar with the local area.
This is my opinion,it is convincing ,isn’t it?
To explore or not to explore,that is a question
It is reported that there were eighteen students of Fudan University went to explore the Huang mountain several months before.At that time they met with great danger and called for help.The rescue team reached timelly and took them to safety.But a policeman lost his life unfortunately,we all felt sorry for him.
After that ,”whether students should be encouraged to explore”bacame a topic of conversation.
In my opinion,students should not be encouraged to explore.students are just children,they are too young,they haven’t got a lot of experience of exploration.they don’t know what to take and what can eat,they don’t know where to live in mountain and where to take clean water,they also don’t know how to deal some dangerous situation.in one word,these students are inexperienced,exploration is dangerous for them.
If they really want to explore,they must learn a lot of knowledge about living in the wild place.they should also employ a local tour guide who is familiar with the local area.
This is my opinion,it is convincing ,isn’t it?
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您好我就把您的作文改的稍微风骚一点,改一下语法和词汇
A question concerns with whether to explore or not
It has been reported that there were eighteen students of Fudan University who went to explore the Huang mountain several months before.During that time,they confronted with an uncontrollable danger(what is it?) and called for help.The rescue team reached them in timely fashion and took them to a safe place.Unfortunetely,a policeman lost his life in the rescue mission,we all felt sorry for him and kept in mind his contribution deep down.
After this event ,”whether students are encouraged to advanture”bacame a hot topic of conversation.
In my opinion,students are not encouraged to visit the places where lack of exploration.students are still children and too young,therefore,they haven’t got a lot of experience of exploration.they don’t know what to equip and what to eat,moreover,they don’t know where to live in mountain and where to acquire clean water,they also lack the experience of how to react in dangerous situations.The exploration of new places for students have been proved to be a complete failure,so students should be aware of the sever consequences of being new explorers.
If they really are eager to exploring,they must learn a lot of knowledge in the field of living in wild places in advance.they should also employ a local tour guide who is familiar with the local area.
A question concerns with whether to explore or not
It has been reported that there were eighteen students of Fudan University who went to explore the Huang mountain several months before.During that time,they confronted with an uncontrollable danger(what is it?) and called for help.The rescue team reached them in timely fashion and took them to a safe place.Unfortunetely,a policeman lost his life in the rescue mission,we all felt sorry for him and kept in mind his contribution deep down.
After this event ,”whether students are encouraged to advanture”bacame a hot topic of conversation.
In my opinion,students are not encouraged to visit the places where lack of exploration.students are still children and too young,therefore,they haven’t got a lot of experience of exploration.they don’t know what to equip and what to eat,moreover,they don’t know where to live in mountain and where to acquire clean water,they also lack the experience of how to react in dangerous situations.The exploration of new places for students have been proved to be a complete failure,so students should be aware of the sever consequences of being new explorers.
If they really are eager to exploring,they must learn a lot of knowledge in the field of living in wild places in advance.they should also employ a local tour guide who is familiar with the local area.
1年前
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