帮我改一下这篇托福作文,据说句子太繁琐而且用词简单.

帮我改一下这篇托福作文,据说句子太繁琐而且用词简单.
The friends that youcan have fun with are more important than the friends that you can get helpfrom?
We are live in a gregarious society,relying oncooperation to sustain our life.So everyone needs friends.Some friends arefunny; some friends are like-minded; some friends can help you a lot; somefriends are only fair-weather friend.Some people holds the idea that thefriends that you can have fun with are more important than the friends that youcan get help from.By contrast,in my eyes,the friends who can help you a lotare much more significant than the friends who can make you laugh.My reasonsare following.
There is no denying that the friends that you can havefun with are essencial in your life.You can make phone calls,have parties or goshopping with them,abandon yourselves to fun.But they are only fair-weatherfriends,who are only with you when in good conditions.When you have to facesome difficulties,they will give you the air and disappear.Let’s take thefamous movie,the Great Gatsby which adapted from anovel of the same name for an example.When the protagonist,Gatsby was rich,there were so many people around him,complimenting his success and generosity,going to his luxury castle-like vila to attend his parties weekly and havingfun with him.Daisy,his old lover who already got married,also rebuilt therelationship with him.However,when Gatsby got bogged down in crisis,thesefair-weather friends have all gone and left him alone.Daisy also decided toabandon Gatsby.At last,even when Gatsby died,only few people came to hisfuneral.At that time,Daisy was out for a trip to Europe with her husband.Allthese people were just avaricious of Gatsby’s money,tending to base theirrelationship on Gateby’s status and success.
However,on the one head,everyone’s ability and ideasare limited.All of us will meet some difficulties which is hard to deal with.Sometimes,you have to face some delimma that can not be handled by yourselves.At that time,you will find how important the friends who can give you a handare.The force of a person is extremely limited,but if you have many friends thatyou can get help from,then the power of an organization is inapproachable.Inthis way,you can get out of the mess,which you can not expect to get from thefair-weather friends.On the other hand,two heads are better than one head.Ifyou have genuine friends that you can get help from,you can help each otherand exchange your ideas.In this manner,you can open your mind and make you morecreative and thoughtful.
In conclusion,as far as I am concerned,the friends whoare helpful are more important than the funny ones.They won’t abandon you andleave you alone when you are in trouble.As the old saying goes,a friend inneed is a friend in deed,the helpful friends will with you no matter theweather is fair or bad.
lx1984 1年前 已收到1个回答 举报

兰欣wf 幼苗

共回答了19个问题采纳率:89.5% 举报

这么长!先改一段您试看,若满意,再继续.
The friends with whom (that) you can have fun are more important than the friends from whom you can get help?
We are living (live) in a gregarious society, relying on cooperation to maintain (sustain) our life. So, everyone needs friends. Some friends are funny; some friends are like-minded; some friends can help you a lot; some friends are only fair-weather friends. Some people holds the idea that the friends whom you can have fun with are more important than the friends whom you can get help from. By contrast, in my eyes, the friends who (can) help you a lot are much more significant than the friends who can make you laugh. My arguements (reasons) are following.

1年前 追问

4

lx1984 举报

好的谢谢,可以继续改么?

举报 兰欣wf

可以,以后直接改了。下面是第二部分。 This is not to deny that the friends whom you can have fun with are essencial in your life. You can call them for chatting or gossiping  , and have parties or go shopping with them, which may abandon yourselves to fun, while they are possibly only fair-weather friends, who may disappear once you have difficulties or even are not in good conditions. When you have to face some hard times, they will give you the air and no longer show up. Let’s take the famous movie , the Great Gatsby,as an example,  which is adapted from a novel of the same name. When the protagonist, Gatsby was rich, there were so many people around him, complimenting his success and generosity, going to his luxury castle-like vila to attend his parties weekly and having fun with him. Daisy, his old lover who had already got married, also managed to rebuild the relationship with him.

举报 兰欣wf

第三部分。 However, when Gatsby got bogged down in crisis, all these fair-weather friends had gone and left him alone. Daisy also decided to get away from Gatsby. At last, even at the moment when Gatsby died, only few people came to his funeral. At that very time, Daisy was out for a trip to Europe with her husband. All these people were just avaricious of Gatsby’s money, judging their relationship snobbishly accoring to Gateby’s status and success. However, on the one hand, everyone’s ability and ideas are limited. All of us will meet some difficulties hard to deal with. Sometimes, you have to face some delimma that can not be handled by yourselves. At that time, you will find how important the friends who can give you a hand are. The force of a single person is really weak, but if you have many friends who may provide you strong support, then the power you would have will be inapproachable, because is from a group of people, or even an informal organization.

举报 兰欣wf

最后。 On the other hand, two heads are better than one head. If you have genuine friends that you can trust and get help from, you can help each other and exchange your ideas, by which you will be able to open your mind and make yourself more creative and thoughtful. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, the friends who are helpful are more important than the funny ones. They won’t abandon you and leave you alone when you are in trouble. As the old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend in deed, the helpful friends will with you no matter the weather is fair or bad.

举报 兰欣wf

手机上改的,请再次检查拼写。
可能相似的问题
Copyright © 2024 YULUCN.COM - 雨露学习互助 - 17 q. 0.639 s. - webmaster@yulucn.com