请帮忙修改英语作文,急!谢谢,菩萨保佑你~~!
请帮忙修改英语作文,急!谢谢,菩萨保佑你~~!
Animals
Most people like animals. Animals are our good friends.
When I was a child, I kept some beautiful gold fishes. I love them very much. So I was so sad when they are died. Now I don't have any animals, but I also love them.
Many people feed pets, such as dogs, cats, rabbits, and so on.They think animals are cute and friendly. But I have heard some people kill a lot of widelife animals to make money. I can't stand it! But I can't do anything for them, so when I grow up, I will join the WWF.
Now animals are fewer and fewer, so we all should protect them. If you try to love animals as more as possible, you will find that animals are love you too.
Let's protect animals together!
Animals
Most people like animals. Animals are our good friends.
When I was a child, I kept some beautiful gold fishes. I love them very much. So I was so sad when they are died. Now I don't have any animals, but I also love them.
Many people feed pets, such as dogs, cats, rabbits, and so on.They think animals are cute and friendly. But I have heard some people kill a lot of widelife animals to make money. I can't stand it! But I can't do anything for them, so when I grow up, I will join the WWF.
Now animals are fewer and fewer, so we all should protect them. If you try to love animals as more as possible, you will find that animals are love you too.
Let's protect animals together!
赞 zyshaaa 幼苗
共回答了15个问题采纳率：100% 举报
"So I was so sad when they are died." are 去掉
文中重复使用but,可以用however代替.
"But I can't do anything for them,so when I grow up,I will join the WWF." but和so不能连用
"Now animals are fewer and fewer" 改成"Now the number of animals are becoming fewer and fewer"
"as more as possible" more改成much,as…as中间不能用比较级
“you will find that animals are love you too”are去掉
句中now重复太多,可以用at the moment,nowadays适当代替的
大致帮你改一下,如果要文章出彩,就多用点句型和丰富的词汇.
例如转折可以用however,承接句子可以用besides,in addition,what's more.
个人建议可以用personally speaking,in my opinion
文中重复使用but,可以用however代替.
"But I can't do anything for them,so when I grow up,I will join the WWF." but和so不能连用
"Now animals are fewer and fewer" 改成"Now the number of animals are becoming fewer and fewer"
"as more as possible" more改成much,as…as中间不能用比较级
“you will find that animals are love you too”are去掉
句中now重复太多,可以用at the moment,nowadays适当代替的
大致帮你改一下,如果要文章出彩,就多用点句型和丰富的词汇.
例如转折可以用however,承接句子可以用besides,in addition,what's more.
个人建议可以用personally speaking,in my opinion
1年前
5
heweiheguo 幼苗
共回答了151个问题 举报
Animals
Most people like animals. Animals are our good friends.
When I was a child, I kept some beautiful "goldfishes". I love them very much.And I was so sad when they "died". Now I don't...
Most people like animals. Animals are our good friends.
When I was a child, I kept some beautiful "goldfishes". I love them very much.And I was so sad when they "died". Now I don't...
1年前
0
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帮忙修改英语作文，短句变长句，增加从句难句，谢谢了。有财富呦
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你能帮帮他们吗