求大神帮改英语作文~看有什么改进的地方求喷(25分的作文我只得了16分T_T)

求大神帮改英语作文~看有什么改进的地方求喷(25分的作文我只得了16分T_T)
网络上对于 “驴友(backpackers)”是这样解释的:“驴友是对那些热爱户外运动自助自主旅行爱好者的称呼,因为驴子能驼能背,吃苦耐劳,所以这也是旅游爱好者们自称或尊称对方的一个名词.”请根据以上信息作文,内容包括:用英语解释驴友;谈谈自己对驴友的看法;谈谈自己是否愿意成为一名驴友并简单说明原因.120词左右可适当增加细节使结构完整
我的作文:Recently,"backpacker" become popular with youth."bacckpackers" are a group of travelers who like outdoor activities and who are interested in traveling by themselves.As we know ,donkeies are hardworking because they can carry lots of things.Donkeies are similar to "backpackers" in a way,so those travelers usually call themselves "backpackers" and also use it to show respect to other travelers.(这段有点混乱==bbb) I think that it's nice to be a backpacker.It shows that you are an active person who likes nature and life if you are a backpacker."Backpackers" show a positive attitude to life.Traveling makes both your body and mental healthier.What's more,it will help you open up your eyes and make you wiser.It benefits us greatly.Accroading these good results of traveling,I'm glad to be a backpacker.
clarke99 1年前 已收到2个回答 举报

vickykaka 幼苗

共回答了22个问题采纳率:81.8% 举报

1、"bacckpackers" are a group of travelers who like outdoor activities and who are interested in traveling by themselves.
改为非限:"bacckpackers",who are interested in traveling by themselves,are a group of travelers who like outdoor activities.(其实就是换一下位置)
2、help改为contribute to
3、I think that用as far as i am concerned
4、有并列的可以用not only ...but also...
5、What's more,it will help you open up your eyes and make you wiser.It benefits us greatly.
改为非谓语:What's more,benefiting us greatly,it will help you open up your eyes and make you wiser.
【高三学渣的一点建议】

1年前 追问

2

clarke99 举报

感觉一下子就高端了好多呢~但是还是想问一下就是受我原来老师影响我特爱用从句啊==这个要怎么破?

举报 vickykaka

从句很好啊,你说的是宾从吧,一篇作文里一种从句最多两句,可以多种转换的~~ 啊,你真的用了好多show that...多掌握些其他句型好了,强调句也不错的

clarke99 举报

但是考试没时间想啊,我直接就写的要不写不完呢TT

举报 vickykaka

摸头】平时多积累吧,必修的单词有看起来很高端的(...),留心一下它的用法,平时作文练习用一下记得就劳了。另外,好句式也要熟练掌握~~ It shows that you are an active person who likes nature and life if you are a backpacker. 这么改:Being a backpacker indicates that you are an active person who likes nature and life. 宾语从句的动词换一换也不会太重样> <

clarke99 举报

平时真看了TT可是考试一着急就忘了啊TT我这作文就十分钟左右写的TT

举报 vickykaka

那你还是多写写吧。话说我平时英语考试从来都是两个小时留至少20分钟给英语作文,打草稿再誊写,书写很救人的!!书写一定要好的说。

clarke99 举报

多写就行么?我字还可以的就是写快了有点草。。。。。。==

土豆o 幼苗

共回答了9个问题 举报

初中生吧?我是英语专业大四学生,时间仓促,随便看了一眼 望采纳!
Recently,the word"backpacker" become popular among youth."bacckpackers" means a group of travelers who like outdoor activities and also interested in traveling by ...

1年前

0
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