英语高手们帮我看一篇托福作文,有多狠就批多很,再给个分数,

英语高手们帮我看一篇托福作文,有多狠就批多很,再给个分数,
The educational system which I have been a student for last 16 years is a system that a teacher’s salary depends on the average score of his or her class.Although the system has been fostering my capacities and promoting my skills,I don’t think it is very reasonable.Beyond the topic,a controversy focused on whether a teacher’s wages should be connected with the students’ score is on discussion,violently!And now let me talk something about my viewpoint.
Teaching and receiving are two solitary conceptions.There are always some bad students with no favor in studying in a class,so that they become absent-minded in classes,no matter how well the teacher is imposing new knowledge.I have a classmate burn in a rich family which can buy him future,making him not interested in his curriculums at all.That he always handed in white papers in exams decreased our average score by 2 points!Do you know what does 2 points mean?Ridiculously,that means our teacher didn’t teach him well and thus his salary was deducted.Generally speaking,even if a teacher were a god,he or she had nothing to do with a student disgusted in studying.
Secondly,how do we evaluate how much students have wielded?The sole way is an exam.But exams are very partial because a person is diverse and exams can only give objective estimations of the skills in his or her academic aspects,ignoring his or her moralities,social facilities and so on.What are omitted in exams is exactly the things a teacher should instruct students in order to improve their competence,make them gain more experience,enrich their mental world and,at last,get a good job in the future.All of those I have proposed can not be mentioned in a exam.So it is obvious that appraise a student by his or her scores is not rational and in some ways,insane!All in all,exams are not scientific enough,and evaluating a teacher’s responsibility,ability is not reasonable.
Additionally,salary is an intangible pressure on teachers,so they entail much burden on their students,constituting a vicious spiral.That can give a bad influence on students’ efficiency.
In conclusion,I don’t think the provision that teachers’ salary should depend on how much their students learned.On the one hand,sometimes low scores can not be attributed to teachers.On the other hand,there is not a very rational way to assess a student’s facility.
限时写的.
本人刚刚接触托福不久,感觉写这种独立写作最憋屈的就是想不到论点.有几次我拿到了题目竟然不知道该写神马个要点.高手们方便的话顺便给我几条建议,