英语高手们帮我看一篇我写的托福作文,有多狠批多狠,给个分数,
英语高手们帮我看一篇我写的托福作文,有多狠批多狠,给个分数,
一次提问写不下两个,我还有一个提问,同样15分.
These days,taking part-time jobs is getting more and more prevalent among students,which makes their life congested and engaged,but also more significant and more meaningful.However,some people think it is a cruel choice for a student to earn money by themselves because they are entailed with much homework.Others think it is a great opportunity for them to perceive the hardness their parents have gone through.Both the view points are reasonable,and now let me talk something about my proposition whether taking part-time jobs while studying is good.
The first point I would like to make is that working can make student grow faster and they can know more moralities which were not encountered before.Earning money by students themselves is a tough work,but it can also foster frugality,which is one of the traditional Chinese moralities.It is our responsibility to fulfill and inherit it!Extravagance and ease are not accepted by our evolving society and people who are not diligent and hard-working enough will sure be eliminated.Working is also a wonderful way to release burden of study,from which making friends is also possible.Generally speaking,taking part-time jobs can mature us.
The second point I would like to make is that working can also nourish our capacity in many ways.With the development of economics and the process of commercialization,more and more elites are needed,who have both knowledge and experience.Working is good chance for us to accumulate experience and improve our thinking levels.As an expert said,” Practice produces real knowledge”,so the importance of experience is obvious.When working with others,we can make good use of what we know,which makes us wield more skills.That can promote our competency in the future,which plays a pivotal role in our life.All in all,we can gain experience while working,which is much more cardinal than studying all day long.
It is certain that working with such much pressure is really cruel for a student.But what else can we do?Working is also studying.Hard as it is,we must face it!Because who does not want to have a better life in the future?With the purpose of not letting yourself cry in the corner some day,take much more endeavor when you can young!