请大家给我的第一篇托福作文评分79.Your city has decided to build a statue or

请大家给我的第一篇托福作文评分
79.Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person in your country.Who would you choose?Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.
From my perpective,the person who could be chosen to own a statue or monument of himself should be eminent in his career,positive in public affairs and with a respectful quality and virtue.So I think YaoMing is the best choice.
Yao,as the first Chinese basketball player landing in America and playing for Houston Rockests in the NBA games,not only represent the first-rate level of basketball in China but also shows his dominant status under the basket in NBA.Although with a marvelous height of 2.26 metres,he seems not to be tardy at all.On contrary,he is famous for his flexible movement and exquisite dribbling skills.Being called as "the Moving Great Wall",he is getting more and more applause for his ingenuity in the sphere of basketball.There might be no one who is opposed to the establishment of a statue for him.
Furthermore,Yao has become an excellent ambassador for China.In recent years,he positively took part in popularizing sports especially basketball and even devoted himself into the career of charity.A plethora of young people,holding a honorable heart for Yao,has participated in playing basketball.Yao apparently has offered an impetus to the development of exercise involving the entire people in China.Also,for public charity,the fund called "Yao Fund" has brought luminous shines into the life of thousands of unfortunate children.
In addition,Yao owns an attractive charm of his personality.He is a gracious ,humble person and also with a sense of humor.Every time when he faced the public media,he never went about with his head high in the air,he always answered the troublesome problems in a honest way and sometimes he might use a joke to cope with the embarassment.
Therefore,I can hardly find a better one than YaoMing to be the choice.A statue of him is an approval of his feats and more importantly it will enlighten more and more people to learn from the spirit of Yao.
jessielove77 1年前 已收到2个回答 举报

zipzone 花朵

共回答了22个问题采纳率:86.4% 举报

评分不敢 小提几点意见吧~1、结构比较清晰,furthermore,in addition,therefore什么的用得很熟练~2、有一些小错,比如说on the contrary要加the啥的;3、语法也有问题,比如第一段the person who...should be...,...a...

1年前

9

butterflycfh 幼苗

共回答了1个问题 举报

你是不是风子

1年前

0
可能相似的问题
Copyright © 2024 YULUCN.COM - 雨露学习互助 - 17 q. 0.017 s. - webmaster@yulucn.com