请雅思老师给我这篇作文打分,并给评价!

请雅思老师给我这篇作文打分,并给评价!
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance for sport or music,and others are not.However,it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
With the growing number of population,in normal lifes,it is much more believed that many people are gifted with some special talents in different ways than before,like music and sport especially.They are often asked to make their talents be used,namely becoming professionals like athletes and musicians.
On the one hand,everybody knows gifted people are always appointed to do things what others cannot,on average.Because they can afford various difficulties in a more professional dealing.One of the most important reasons is that gifted people learn knowledge much faster than others who are in normal,they can do an advanced work therefore.For example,many great musicians and athletes become successful by the genius,they always grow so fast,and give us a magnificent sight to enjoy.So contributed,isn't it?
In addition,as a relevant situation,genius usually brings gifted musicians and sports men more bonus,it is not only a encouragement,better abilities deserve better rewards,it is very fascinating and useful for days' lifes
On the other hand,if parents find some innate talents or abilities on their children,they always be so proud and let their children get a lot of professional training or a spoon-feeding education to make their children be a good professional in their talents' ways.It is pretty blind,because these will make children not free.In a way,genius do not means professions,the education should give children more freedom,to help them to build their own life.
From my perspective,children who have an innate genius should be given more freedom to excavate their own interests,in ways like music and sports.It could let children be happy to study,and be an free and intelligent talent.It is a way which I prefer to educate gifted children,as a conclusion.
这是雅思task2作文.还有最后一段应该是it is the way