能帮忙改一篇托福作文么~~主要是用词和语法……很烂……广告是人们不健康饮食的主要原因吗?

能帮忙改一篇托福作文么~~主要是用词和语法……很烂……广告是人们不健康饮食的主要原因吗?
As we all know, advertisements always try to tempt us to taste the junk food and use unhealthy eating schedule. For example, McDonald’s had given a 50% discount at midnight, and advertise the activity incessantly a month ago. Many people claim that it is the main course of our unhealthy eating habits nowadays. Nevertheless, this kind of complain may sounds reasonable, it hardly be true. People today do have unhealthy eating habits, but we cannot totally attribute it to the advertising. From my point of view, it caused by many reasons.
To begin with, the rise of unhealthy food is chiefly given by over eating. The increasing number of excuses provides more chances for people to eat more than they really need. On the one hand, it is undeniable that food today is much more delicious and convenient to cook than it is before. Sometimes, we don’t even need to cook it at all, say, cookies and instant noodles. On the other hand, people hold ceremonies and long lasting parties frequently during festivals and events such as the Spring Festival, the celebration for the World Cup and the birthday party. These ceremonies and parties are mainly consisted of getting together, drinking, and eating. All these activities can cause over eating and lead to unhealthy eating habits.
In addition, poor diet, which is said to be essential for people to keep good figure, is also a significant reason for unhealthy eating habits. Since it is a universal truth that the thinner you are, the better you look, some young girls keep on diet even though they are withered. For instance, a girl in my class, who is 170cm tall and only 43kg in weight, has never given up the thought of losing more fat. To be honest, I don’t think she has any fat. And the result is that she fainted in a class and stay in hospital for two weeks. As far as I am concerned, the popularity of diet is detrimental to people’s health without question.
Finally, people who undertake special jobs, like journalists and actresses, couldn’t eat at regular times. And this kind of unhealthy eating habits has nothing to do with advertising.
To conclude, the unhealthy eating habits caused by several reasons, such as over eating, poor diet and special jobs. Though advertising may have minor influence on people’s eating habits, it is not the main reason.