请帮我看看这篇英语作文,关于魏晨的!

He was the third prize of ``````这一句有点问题
He‘s VERY HARD in singsing 也有点问题,要是我会写He is working hard in singing 不知道对不对哦```
His smile make let many people remember him.这句不对 可以把make去掉
He has many fans,I am one of his fans. 有点重复,最好改成He has many fans,I am one of them.
I will do my best in studying and singsing.不太正确,可以改成I will do my best on my study and singsing.Study可以作名词表学业,学习.
I’ll sing many good songs for my families.里的many可以改成more,更合适一点.
such a happily team 这个happily要改成happy吧.
We want he can sing more beautifui songs for people.可以改成We hope he can sing more good songs for us(people).更好一点.
We believe him can let us smile and feel happily. 这里的him要改成he,happily改成happy.
a hard and kind boy 这里hard改成hard working.hard单独讲好像只能表示 难 .
还有,可爱的亲,英语里的句号只能是"." .也就是把输入法换成英语后打出来的那个句号,记着哦~
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不错哦,加油~~~我也是乐橙~~呵呵~~~~

很好