请帮我看一篇英语作文,帮我找出该修改的地方把

hello!I am a boy from a junior high school in JaXing,Zhejiang,China.I want to find a pen friend.My name is LiMing.I am fifteen.I have big eyes and black short hair.I am quiet tall.I am helpful.I like making friends with others.I like playing basketball ,and I also like reading books.I don't study very well.But I believe everythig comes to him who waits(功夫不负有心人）.If I put my heart into study.I think my grades will have improved.I want to make a pen friend .We can talk about our school things happen or disturbing things.We can help each other on study.If you want to make friends with me,you can call me.
1）pal 一般指同志,事业上的伙伴,这里表示笔友,用pen friend 比较合适.
2）写作文的时候注意单词的音节,一个词尽量不要分行写.
3）I have two big eyes and I have black short hair.改为I have big eyes and black short hair.尽量简洁一些.
4）quiet 后面用形容词原级,这里没有比较对象,taller 改为 tall.
5）outgoing 也可以表示外出的；即将离职的,如果是表示乐于助人的,用 helpful 不会产生疑义.
6）两句完整的句子间做好加逗号：I like playing basketball ,and I also like reading books.
7）My study is not very well 改为 study 作名词的时候前面才能用my,而后面应该用形容词,well是副词.一般情况下,study用作动词,表示学习,前面用主语I,后面用副词well.
8）We can help each other in study改为 We can help each other on study.
help sb.do sth /help sb.on sth.