英文商务信函,我要给国外一公司写信,想要合作的啊,以前有过通信,你们看我这样写有什么不妥啊.其实我自己认为应该再写一些吸

英文商务信函,
我要给国外一公司写信,想要合作的啊,以前有过通信,你们看我这样写有什么不妥啊.其实我自己认为应该再写一些吸引他的内容,可是不知道该怎么写.对于对方来说,有更多的读者是很重要的.
信件如下：
Dear ×××,
This is ×××,founder of ×××.
We’d like to launch a Christmas Promotion event with you.Everyone who participates in the event will get a chance to win Christmas present ranging from big prizes to ××× coupons.This will help attract more readers.
I look forward to hearing from you and in the meantime,if you wish to discuss any points,or need any further information,you may wish to contact me accordingly.
Regards,
×××
×××
亲爱的各位:鉴于前两位朋友的回答,我想大家恐怕是误会了,我不是让大家翻译这封信,而是想让大家看一看这封信应该再加些什么内容,如何应该写的更好!