英语小报应该出些什么?如果有人回答就把英语文章写一下,随便附上翻译,不用很长,就几篇小文章

笑话
Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says."What's your secret for a long,happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day,drink a case of whiskey a week,eat fatty foods and never,ever exercise."
"Wow,that's amazing," says the woman."How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
长寿秘诀
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头.
“我无意中发现,你是多么幸福,”那女士说.“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”
“我每天抽三包烟,每周喝一箱威士忌,吃高脂肪食品,而且从来不曾锻炼.”
“哦,真神奇,”女士说.“你高寿?”
“二十六.”
英语小故事
The lion and the mouse
When a lion was asleep,a little mouse began running up and down beside him.This soon wakened the lion.He was very angry,and caught the mouse in his paws.
"Forgive me,please." cried the little mouse."I may be able to help you someday." The lion was tickled at these words.
He thought,"How could this little mouse help me?" However he lifted up his paws and let him go.
A few days later,the lion was caught in a trap.
The hunters wanted to take him alive to the king,so they tied him to a tree,and went away to look for a wagon.
Just then the little mouse passed by,and saw the sad lion.
He went up to him,and soon gnawed away the ropes."Was I not right?" asked the little mouse.
狮子睡着了,有只老鼠在他的周围爬上爬下,很快吵醒了狮子,狮子很生气,一把抓住了老鼠.
●“饶了我吧,”老鼠请求说,“也许有一天我能帮上你的忙呢.”狮子觉得很好笑,他想：“这只小老鼠怎么能帮上我的忙?”但他还是抬起爪子放他走了.
●不久,狮子被陷阱困住了.猎人们想将活狮子献给国王,就把他捆在一棵大树上,然后去找马车.
●这时,老鼠路过这里,看到了绝望中的狮子.他走过去,很快啃断了绳索,说：“我虽小,可是我也能帮上你的忙.”
寓意:有些朋友也许平时看似微不足道,但却有可能在我们身处困境的时候提供巨大的帮助

不止是动物笑话还可以写你是不是猪