麻烦大家看看小妹的这句英文,有什么语法用词错误吗,英语不是很好,

麻烦大家看看小妹的这句英文,有什么语法用词错误吗,英语不是很好,
To me,a boy in a backward city which was surrounded by a vast desert,living with digital televisions,wireless networks and video phones seemed like a dream.That was what kind of life I wanted to live,that was what I want to build.
对于我,一个生活在落后的城市的男孩,由于我们是被沙漠包围,拥有无线网络,数字电视和可视电话的生活对我来说一直是一个梦想.这种生活正是我想要的,这种生活也正是我想创造的.
lancezin 1年前 已收到5个回答 举报

skybost 幼苗

共回答了13个问题采纳率:84.6% 举报

To me, a boy living in a backward city where was surrounded by a vast desert, living with digital televisions, wireless networks and video phones seems like a dream. That was what kind of life I wanted to , that was also what I want to creat..
个人意见

1年前 追问

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lancezin 举报

前辈蛮烦您再帮我看看这句行吗 Coming from a small city in the remotest part of my country, at first I could not adapt to studying in ##university, so my grades were not good in the first academic year. Nonetheless, after three years’ studying, I have been the top3 of my major because of the aptness to learn. 麻烦了,O(∩_∩)O谢谢

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Coming from a small city in the remotest part of my country, at first I could not adapt to studying in ##university, so I could not do well in my major in the first term. Nonetheless, through three years’ hard studying, I become the top3 of my major because of the aptness to learn. so my grades were not good in the first academic year中式英语有点严重

micheal1489 幼苗

共回答了13个问题 举报

指代不清。。。。。我也经常犯。。。

1年前

2

yanjiqian2005 幼苗

共回答了18个问题采纳率:83.3% 举报

,.RJIHLKGHKL

1年前

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tonightliu 幼苗

共回答了6个问题 举报

1年前

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毛线vs 幼苗

共回答了2个问题 举报

时态最好改为一般现在时态

1年前

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