哪位大牛帮我批改下雅思 大概多少分 ,剑5 text4 的小作文 谢谢 本人高二 第一次雅思 是小白 再次谢谢各位

哪位大牛帮我批改下雅思 大概多少分 ,剑5 text4 的小作文 谢谢 本人高二 第一次雅思 是小白 再次谢谢各位
The line chart demonstrates data about travel to and from Britain while the bar chart indicates information about the most famous states for Britain inhabitents to visit
As can be seen from the line chart ,the number of the UK visitors and the figure for the foreign visitors who visited to the UK both arrived at around 10 millions respectively in 1979. However,there was a sharp grow in the number of UK visitors while the number of foreign visitors rose gradully from 1985 to 1999.The number of uk visitors arrived at almost 53 millions and the figure for the foreign stood at around 28 millions.
According to the bar chart, it can be clearly seen the most UK visitors visited Spain and France in 1999.To be more exact, UK visitors visited 5 most popular states were made up of Turkey(around 2.5 millions),Greece(around 3 millions),USA (around 4 millions)and the france(around 11.5 millions)
In general, the number of the UK visitors and the number of the visitors who visited to the UK were all increase during the period between 1979 and 1999. On teh other hand Spina and the France were the most popular countries for UK inhabitents.