求修改一篇200字英语小短文,200分,先给100.文章在我空间

As we can see from the cartoon above, a lot of animals are looking at a job ad (advertisement 的 abbreviaton) with an angry or worried expression on their faces. It appears that the boss of the company, who is a cock himself, holds the biased view that only animals who have similar appearances is qualified for the job. Even though many of the other animals may have good personalities and great skills, the company won't open the door for them.
I think this cartoon vividly depicts a serious societal issue: job discrimination. Job discrimination is a big problem in our society. Unlike other social problems, this one is largely rooted in our hearts. Almost every one of us tends to judge a man by his appearance. If we are the CEO of a company, then that kind of perception will lead to job discrimination.
The disease may cause the following problems: First, the man with true talent might not get the job, and this becomes a loss for the entire society. Second, this unfair view will make everyone become concerned about their appearances instead of focusing on improving their internal factors. Last but not least, this kind of discrimination will harm the development of a harmonious society.
In my opinion, we should first come to the consus that this problem is caused by every one of us, so if we want to exterminate this type of discrimiation in society, we should first change our own beliefs.
我帮你把不顺的地方修改了,然后有些单词不太恰当,我也用更适合的单词代替了.
另外一点,英文里的 firstly secondly 这是不正规的说法,应该用 first, second, etc.
～ ♥ 自己认真修改的,现在的文章应该比较地道,敬请采纳、

Looking at the cartoon above, we can see that a lot of animals are
looking at a job admission requirements with either an angry or worried
expression on their face. The boss of the company, ...

As we can see from the cartoon above. a lot of animals are reading the position requirements with angry facial expressions. It seems that the boss of the company, a cock, has a partiality for the appl...