英语作文,检查是否有语法错误Now,the progress of science,great changes have

This essay is crap.Anyway,I correct it to look better.
The progress of science has made great changes to people's lives.Almost everyone has his own private car.In the street,everywhere is a busy scene.There are a lot of people and vehicles.However,people never stop to interact.Nowaday,we seldom home-cook,we often eat in a restaurant.In the evening,the home is very quiet,very few family will have the whole family members together.The street,brightly lit,is forever fill with noise.Whatever things you need,you can go to the store to buy.As such,family meeting becomes less.People just call,chat on the Internet.Everyone's mind is only thinking of money.The former happy life has disappeared.Everyone needs to slow down and enjoy life.

你好。我感觉整体不错，

鸡蛋里面挑骨头一下哈

1. Almost everyone has his own private cars.

带有明显的性别特征的词语his 尽量少用，可以写Almost everyone has a private car.

2. home cooking是名词词组，不能做谓语。改为We seldom cook at home

3. In the evening, the home is very quiet. 建议不需要用"the" 因为没有特指，这里是泛指。改为

In the everning, home is a quiet place.

4. The street, brightly lit... brightly lit 是个形容词组，不能做名词的同位语，改为The street, which is brightly lit,... 用一个从句作为插入语

见谅。一点个人拙见

个人感觉无误

Now, with the progress of science, great changes have taken place in people's life. Almost everyone has his own private cars. In the street, everywhere is busy . There are a lot of people and vehicle...

"In the street"改为“on the street”
“We seldom home cooking”一句中没有动词，改为“we seldom cook at hom”