英语翻译2011年9月26日晚 今天身体欠佳,喉咙哑了说不出话.原来我之前所付出的一切都只是在垫底.她没有我想的那么爱我

The evening of 26 September 2011 Today,in poor health,throat dumb speechless.I had originally paid only in the bottom of everything.I think,so she did not love me,she has been thinking about the hurt her boyfriend before.When I begged her not to abandon me,I scratched the skin with a knife.Outflow of blood and the pain seems to want to tell me?So she did not mind to come.I just have a crush on her.
（话外音：为什么这日记看得让人毛骨悚然.）

Poor health today on the evening of september 26th 2011 , throat dumb say words . The original before i have done only in Bottom . She did not love me that she might like to think i have always bear i...