自己写的毕业英文诗,怀念一下母校,导师,和同学,给看看有什么需要改的

自己写的毕业英文诗,怀念一下母校,导师,和同学,给看看有什么需要改的
Dawn Blossoms Plucked at Dusk (Reminiscing)
Eternity,is not just diamond,
Some memories,after one hundred years,
Still remain clear,alive in our hearts.
5.Those were the days,when I was innocent,when I was childish,
6.Those were the days,when we always worried about the endless studies,
7.Those were the days,when we always complained about too much work,
8.Those were the days,when we always thought that the days would never end.
9.Summer turned to winter.
10.Saplings became trees.
11.It was the time to part,to leave us from the known place,
12.It was the time's tide,
13.Quietly,wiping out our stubbornness.
14.Here,we have spent many seasons,spring and fall,
15.Here,we have kept many memories,laughter and tears.
16.Here,we have left many footprints,colourful and colourless,
17.Here,we have obtained much experience,life and love.
18.We have always dreamed of leaving,but when the dream came true,
19.We just could not let each other go.
20.Now we are going to part,now we are not pranksters any more.
21.All things will be written in history,which we will keep deep in our hearts.
22.It's such a special feeling,
23.To close our eyes and reminisce,recall for a while.
24.The tide recedes,but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand.
25.For every joy that passes,something beautiful remains.
Some tings I may forget today,
And some things I may never recall,
But that place,those days,
I have no trouble remembering that,at all.
这是我修改的几句
Those were the days when,we used to show our puerility and innocence,
Those were the days when,we used to hate arts and science;
Helplessly,leaving this familiar place behind,when the time passed.
Silently,wiping out our obstinateness,when the tide receded
Where we have spent each spring and autumn that follows,
Where we have kept all joys and sorrows;
Where we have gained stories in life and love,for each other.
Where we have left many footprints,colourful and colourless all together.
Where,we'd yearned to leave in the coming-true dreams,
Which,we've finally found out,are never quite as it seems.
Now the trouble makers in the past are going to part,
While all history and romance is kept deep in my heart;
Memories flashing back in my mind's eye,
It's such a special feeling to say goodbye.
Bright seashells on the sand tells,that tide has once been here.
Beautiful blossoms of laughter and tears won't fade ever here.