高手您看看这两篇文章,若有句法语法等等错误,请指正!

高手您看看这两篇文章,若有句法语法等等错误,请指正!
第一篇:Failing to take proper measures to protect the environment
The protection of the environment had became a daily topics nowadays,but,despite the media's effort to display that efforts had been placed on this subject,the total issue of environment still proved to be failure.How did it fail?well,everyone had done their best in helping the environment getting better,but some had thought that a cleaner and a more organized environment will do better.So,following this idea,those people had done their best possible to clear the forest and to plant trees in order.Also,some other extremists had similar ideas.they even tried to artificially creat the best environment without any biological knowledge on how the ecosystem could do what it needed itself!Other things,enspecially human factors,had affected the protection of the environment seriously.Not only in asia,many countries in the world are spend billions of dollars on this issue but still when the money got to where it is needed it had also caused a lot of damage to the environment due to the need for transportation and usage of machineries.As a summary,it is not that people dosen't want to help to protect the environment,but it is the ways that they are doing the things that made the proper protection of the environment impossible.
第二篇:Failing to take proper measures to protect the environment
It’s not surprising to find that protection of the environment is a common topic debated on amongst environmentalists.However,nowadays,one could find heated discussions on this very topic in our daily lives.From careless litter on the streets to the pollution produced by the huge factories in the industrial centers of the world,we as human beings are failing to take proper measures to protect the environment.
In fact,although many governments worldwide claim that they spend billions of dollars on cleaning up the environment,results are rarely seen.As the population on Earth grows,more cars are being produced,which in turn,creates smog and pollution.Every second,the pollution on this planet increases.
What people have to realize is that damaging the environment is much easier than cleaning it up.When we use plastic bags in the grocery stores instead of paper bags,we never realize that plastic takes a long time to degenerate.All of this,bit by bit,is contributing to our failure to protect our environment.
We have to admit our mistakes now and take steps to make our Earth cleaner,and less polluted for the generations after us,before it’s too late.
麻烦您补充一下哪些句子修改过,

小部 1年前已收到5个回答举报

laimingcai 幼苗

共回答了14个问题采纳率：85.7% 举报

以下只能作为一些个人建议,我觉得你才是高手,复合句用得很妙,读起来比较书面专业… 两篇不是同一个人写的吧?第二篇好像水准略高一些….
我文法本身就一塌糊涂,只能建议一些语句用法和文章条理结构.互相学习吧!
第一篇
1.The protection of the environment had became a daily topics nowadays-->Environment protection has became a trite topics nowadays (has become是”已经成为话题”,不是”过去成为”; “daily topic”也可,建议改为”老生常谈的话题”)
2.despite the media's effort to display that efforts had been placed on this subject,the total issue of environment still proved to be failure.-----> despite the fact that the medias displayed that a great effort has been placed on this subject,the current environment status as a whole still proved its insufficiency.(原句不是很理解)
3.How did it fail?--> How come?(因为我已把前面的failure去了,所以以只能改成这样,哈哈)
4.well,everyone had done their best in helping the environment getting better,but some had thought that a cleaner and a more organized environment will do better.---> (前后没有转折关系,何以用but?逻辑上不应该是everyone 都做到了保护环境这种事情,请楼主再考虑一下这一点.)
5.those people had done their best possible to clear the forest and to plant trees in order.--->those people has done their best to clean the forest and to plant trees.
6.they even tried to artificially creat the best environment without any biological knowledge on how the ecosystem could do what it needed itself!-->but they tend to artificially creat a good human-oriented environment than a good nature-oriented environment (赞一个,原句已经说得非常好,意思是违背生态规律建造适合人类的理想环境)
7.Other things---->建议改成其他,如otherwise,also等,后面也注意衔接一下.
8.As a summary--->In summary
9.it is the ways that they are doing the things that---->it is the methods they take
第二篇
1.It’s not surprising to find that protection of the environment...---->It’s not surprisingly to find that environment protection...
2.on amongst--->amongst
3.careless--->inconspicuous (“不起眼的”,对应后面的”huge”,或者可以两者同时去掉)
4.in the industrial centers(建议去掉,没有必要这样强调,污染的工厂不只限于在工业区)
5.When we use plastic bags in the grocery stores instead of paper bags---->When we use one-off plastic bags instead of shopping bags (最好不要这样写,试想像把我们使用的所有塑料袋换成牛皮纸,那得砍伐多少树木…所有过剩包装都是污染环境的.或者把instead of及之后去掉)
6.degenerate---->(这样说应该也可以,或者说be digested by nature)
7.contributing to---->ascribed to
Based on the improper measures human took (article 1) and the existing pollution factors (article 2),you illustrated your ideas well on the failure of environment protection,you got no problem in English,they would be perfect if you could try to polish your thoughts .
From thought in depth perspective,you would try to also consider the followings.
In developing contries like China,people who consciously realize the importance of environment protection and put it into action is still minority,whereas these countries possess a majority of the world population,just imagine how many garbages produced by them.Concepts are roots of all problems,education and propaganda are weak points.
Although more than a hundred countries joined in Kyoto Protocol,the U.S.,as the richest country produce the most greenhouse gas in the world,haven’t joined in this protocal.They keep criticising other’s pollution,but they also do no good for it.
…
Try to do some search online to get more information to enrich your article.
Cheers~

1年前

lost_myself 幼苗

共回答了272个问题举报

第一篇:Failing to take proper measures to protect the environment
The protection of the environment has becoem a daily topic nowadays, however, despite the media's efforts to display that efforts ha...

1年前