有一道英语作文,满分15分,请高手看看要扣多少分

有一道英语作文,满分15分,请高手看看要扣多少分
On last Saturday morning,i had a piano lesson,i went to play the piano in my music classroom.On last Saturday afternoon,i went to swam with my friends.On Saturday evening,i sent an email to Lily on internet.On last Sunday morning,i went to visited grandpa with my parents.On sunday afternoon,i went to the movies with parents.This is my last weekend.What about you?
独行灵魂 1年前 已收到7个回答 举报
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ttyjack 幼苗

共回答了13个问题采纳率：100% 举报

首先用逗号连接的两个句子应该有连词连接,但是你一个连词都没写.所以这些都要扣分.而且尽量应用一些复杂的连接词来加强句子的连贯性,你这篇作文基本上承接不上,加之第二行的swim拼写有误,第三行visited应用动词原形visit,最后一行应为went to see the movies,That was my last weekend.还要扣2分,所以差不多这篇作文6~8分.

1年前

9

yanwu210 花朵

共回答了16个问题采纳率：56.3% 举报

扣5分

1年前

2

也是吧 幼苗

共回答了11个问题 举报

个人认为应改进：
On the last Saturday morning
,i played the piano in my music classroom
这句,i went to swam with my friends明显错误——go swimming固定搭配
on internet之间一定要加the
通篇句式太死板，不够灵活（其实我觉得有些地方...

1年前

2

ccdkahkj 幼苗

共回答了2235个问题 举报

last Saturday morning, i had a piano lesson,i went to play the piano in my music classroom. last Saturday afternoon,i went to swam with my friends.On Saturday evening,i sent an email to Lily on in...

1年前

1

零本 幼苗

共回答了1个问题 举报

9

1年前

1

打泡泡 幼苗

共回答了16个问题采纳率：81.3% 举报

略微有一点罗嗦"On last Saturday",还有，真正写的时候"i"不能是小写

1年前

0

任人tt的小狼啊 幼苗

共回答了1个问题 举报

开头你就错了，“On” last Saturday morning，last前面不能加on。I went to “swam” with my friends. 应该是swim吧。 I went to“ visited” grandpa with my parents.
感觉错了好多哦

1年前

0
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