高考英语作文评分 看这篇作文能得多少分 满分25分 请指出语法错误

高考英语作文评分 看这篇作文能得多少分 满分25分 请指出语法错误
Ah Fu and my sister
Ah Fu is a dog .As for it's a dog . We all proud of it .
One day ,the whole family went to work on the field .Take my sister and Ah Fu alone . The parents were working when my sister playing by the river with Ah Fu .When she was just about to pick a flower .She fell into the river .Ah Fu saw these .It was barking then jumped into the river . My parents heard Ah Fu's bark .Run into the river at once .By this time .Ah Fu was swimming to my sister and taking her to the bank .My parents was so pleased and praised Ah Fu warmly .
Because of this . We all proud of Ah Fu.
指出错误
b2960 1年前 已收到1个回答 举报

我要考上iiii 幼苗

共回答了20个问题采纳率:85% 举报

挺不错的.至少能拿个20分以上,要我打可能23左右.基本意思表达很好,语法和单词也不错,但是就是有些用法稍微有点感觉怪怪的.(别嫌我啊)
就这两句
“ Despite the discouragement, I tried to get mother's supportness” change to "Despite her disapproval, I tried to get her support."
"as the college entrance exam draws nearer and nearer." change to "draws near"
"my eagerness to join in them grows stronger and stronger" personally speaking, I would use the word “my interest in these clubs grows stronger and stronger"
"showed her understanding to me" change to ”showed understanding“
还有,用Mum好像更好啊,难道您整天管妈妈叫 "母亲”么?

1年前 追问

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b2960 举报

结尾怎么写 不会
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