有什么有趣的英语故事,最好有翻译,

流浪歌者
[大师] I Didn't Know That I Was So Far Back Already!
A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing,and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this,one of the soldier decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him,so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle.After he had walked for an hour,he saw an officer coming towards him.The officer stopped him and said,"Where are you going?"
"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us,sir." the soldier answered.
"Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angerly."I'm your commanding officer."
The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said,"My God,I didn't know that I was so far back already!"
真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!
　　第一次世界大战期间,一场大战役正在进行.枪炮轰鸣,子弹横飞.这样持续了一小时后,有个士兵认为战斗太危险了,所以他离开前线,开始逃离战场.走了一个小时后,他看见一个军官朝他走过来.军官拦住他,问道：“你到哪儿去?”
　　“长官,我正尽力躲开身后正在进行的战斗.”士兵回答说.
　　“你知道我是谁吗?”军官生气地说：“我是你们的指挥官.”
　　士兵听了十分惊讶地说：“天哪,真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!”
Class and Ass
Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door:"Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."
A student,after reading the notice,rubbed out the "c".
Later Professor Laurie came along,and entering into the spirit of the joke,rubbed out the "l".
班和笨驴
　　格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不见他的班级.”
　　一个学生读了通知后,擦掉了字母“c”(lass：姑娘).
　　后来劳里教授来了,也想开开玩笑,他擦掉了字母“l”(ass：笨驴).