英语作文shopping on line has many advantages .first ,you can buy

我是一个和你同龄的国外留学生,说实话你的思路是好的,但是结构太中式英语,也就是说有很多语病,建议多读一些外文的书籍,整张知识量.
所有括号中的东西是建议看完可以怒删.
一点建议,把你的原文放到word或者wps中看看拼写检查,你就知道你的错误有多多了.
用了不少时间,望采纳.
Shopping has many advantages. First ,you can buy goods that（不是what) you are interested in without going outdoors. Second, shopping online not only saves time ,but also avoids (crowing in the crowd你难道不觉得纠结吗?）struggling in the crowd and easily get tired (作为人,应用感到疲倦的tired而且是get tired）during shopping. Third ,the price of goods are（动词啊,汗流不已）online usually much lower than the store.(So you can save money和上句纯属重复）. (创新一下, 不要光用第一第二第三)Last but not least, (you can choose a lot of goods ,and you can choose all kinds of goods 不是我在讽刺你,我实在快笑趴下了)Online shopping provide a variety of choices, we are able to find the useful stuff and get rid of the crap. However ,shopping online also has some disadvantages such as (you just can see the picture of goods ,but you can't see itselves)(themselves啊) just seeing the pictures does not means the reality. Some people are worried about the quality of goods .You may buy lots of goods (that you don't need online无语的句子) without going online,it causes(caused?现象不需要用过去时） wasting.(In a word,I love shopping on line!这似乎也太简单了,你说网上购物不好为什么不用中和句?)So, the conclusion to draw, although online shopping has many disadvantages that need to be improved, I still find it pretty useful in life.