请英语好的帮忙查查看这篇文章有什么错误的地方

请英语好的帮忙查查看这篇文章有什么错误的地方
请英语好的帮我的文章查漏补缺!特别是一些语法错误,用词不当等等!
How to spend your lucky money
Sping Festival has come,I have got lucky money from my parents.I make a list of the money I will save half of them to the bank for feature and use the other half to buy something!I want to buy some books and a pair of shose Iwill take the rest to the poor peoples Ithink the money can help them!The poor will become happy!Then I will very happy I think my plan is perfect!
=很多词都没学,请回答者不要用太多高级词汇-
sdgreew7 1年前 已收到3个回答 举报

漂泊的爱情 花朵

共回答了26个问题采纳率:88.5% 举报

How to spend you lucky money
During the spring festival,i have gained some lucky money from my parents.i plan to deposit half of them to my own savings account and use the other half to buy something for myself,such as books and shoes.If there are still remainings after the shopping,i'd like to give them to the poor to help them.their smiles will be the source of my happiness.
这个version 好一些,大体意思没变

1年前

9

ii水费抄表员 幼苗

共回答了3个问题 举报

楼上改的挺好的~改一个词~"I would like to donate them to the poor.their smiles...."书写的英文不论是否正式最好不要用缩写:)用donate(捐赠)比较贴切~句子比较精炼:)楼主就用楼上的吧!

1年前

0

民如水 幼苗

共回答了1个问题 举报

shose是啥

1年前

0
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