本人英语基础比较差,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?

本人英语基础比较差,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?
in recent years,more and more students have the trouble with short-sightedness.what is the worse,the short-sightedness student s trend to younger,even the pupils.
what are the reasons that more and more students have the trouble with short-sightedness?in my view,firstly,most students have the bad reading habits,they take book too close to eyes as they reading.secondly,with the raising of economy,most students have their own computer.they spent much time in playing computer rather than studying or sporting.that will makes them short-sightedness .thirdly,some students like to watch TV and read novels.they often read their favourite novels day and night makes their eyes can not have a good rest.
in order to solve this problem,I put forward the following suggesting,firstly,parents should limit their children to play computer games,watch TV and read novels.they can take little time to do that for relax themselves,but not too much.secondly,students should develop a good reading habit.thirdly,school should arrange for some eye exercises to keep students from being short-sightedness.
请说明哪里错了，该怎么修改