研讨会开场白 英文的

Good Morning/Afternoon,Evening.
On my way here moments ago,I was thinking which foot I should use to step up to the podium.So I made a decision to use my left foot,which is controlled by my right brain according to some neurologist,because I believe I'm a logic thinker.You know what?I used my right foot!Now,I guess I'll have to deal with lots of pictures on my mind.But first,I'll have to find my logic!.
场上一定会有人发出会心的笑声.

主持者？出席者？什么类型的研讨会？ 您应该写清楚才好。