涵总
幼苗
共回答了16个问题采纳率:93.8% 举报
My View on (加上My View on更显针对性) Online Shopping
Nowadays,online shopping is playing an important role in our daily life.Many people ,especially the young (改为这样表达) buy things on the Internet(加上此句使其与上句呼应buy things on the Internet).They would rather go online shopping than go to a real store.
Why do many people (the young 改为many people)love going online shopping ?Because it has(there are 改为it has,由it代替online shopping)some advantages. For example,we don't have to spend (take用在此次不妥,改为spend) much time on the way.In addition,we can do other things while doing(going改为doing为佳) online shopping.
However,as(a前加as,“正如.”的意思)a proverb says,every coin has its two sides and online shopping is not exception.It has(There are改为It has) some problems .First,no one can guarantee that online is absolutely safe,On the contrary,we often see some cases related to( that involved in改为related to)online shopping in newspapers and(or 改为and)magizines. Second,no one can guarantee that the quality of things bought in online shopping is satisfying.
As far as I'm concerned,we can sometimes go online shopping to buy books,clothes,tickets,cosmatics and so on.But we shouldn't rely on it.When we are free,we can should(改为should,表示提议) go online shopping with our families,which can help us family members live more happily.(So改为which 引导定语从句which can help us family members live more happily代替 we can get along with each other.)
修改并整理后的全文如下:
My View on Online Shopping
Nowadays,online shopping is playing an important role in our daily life.Many people ,especially the young buy things on the Internet.They would rather go online shopping than go to a real store.
Why do many people love going online shopping ?Because it has some advantages. For example,we don't have to spend much time on the way.In addition,we can do other things while doing online shopping.
However,as a proverb says,every coin has its two sides and online shopping is not exception.It has some problems .First,no one can guarantee that online is absolutely safe,On the contrary,we often see some cases related to online shopping in newspapers and magizines. Second,no one can guarantee that the quality of things bought on the Internet is satisfying.
As far as I'm concerned,we can sometimes go online shopping to buy books,clothes,tickets,cosmatics and so on.But we shouldn't rely on it.When we are free,we should do online shopping with our families,which can help us family members live more happily.
1年前
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biubiu63
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网上购物可以用go online shopping还是go to online shopping还是do online shopping? 总是说buy goods from the Internet我觉得有点啰嗦啊。
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涵总
再次修改后: My View on Online Shopping Nowadays,online shopping is playing an important role in our daily life.Many people ,especially the young buy things on the Internet.They would rather do online shopping than go to a real store. Why do many people love doing online shopping ?Because it has some advantages. First,the things on the Internet are usually cheaper.Second,it can help us save a lot of time.In addition,we can do other things while shopping online. However,as a proverb says,every coin has its two sides and online shopping is not exception.It has some problems .First,no one can guarantee that online is absolutely safe,On the contrary,we often see some cases related to online shopping in newspapers and magizines. Second,no one can guarantee that the quality of things bought on the Internet is satisfying. As far as I'm concerned, over the Internet we can sometimes buy things that are not dear,such as books,clothes,tickets snf cosmatics.But we shouldn't always do that.When we are free,we should go out,enjoying the fun of shopping in a mall or a store with our families,which can help us family members live more happily.