当我在公园散步时,我看见一个漂亮的女孩,我经过她时,向她微笑了一下,乍看这下,她似乎非常腼腆,由于我也和她一样腼腆,所以

当我在公园散步时,我看见一个漂亮的女孩,我经过她时,向她微笑了一下,乍看这下,她似乎非常腼腆,由于我也和她一样腼腆,所以我们没能说上话.As I was walking in the park,I saw a pretty gril.I smiled to her as I passed me.at first appearance the girl seemed very shy.As I also was the same shy as her.So we didn't speak to each other.请帮我看一下,句中有无错误.表达能否更地道.请指正,或者你自已造个和我这意思相同的,更好的更地道的表达方式.请认真指点我,从这段话中找出我的不足.并给出参考意见.我会大力加分.一定.