一段很简单的英语短文,请英语达人帮忙看一下!

一段很简单的英语短文,请英语达人帮忙看一下!
I want to tell you about my good friend,Mary.She is a girl. She is my classmate,too.
Mary likes listening to music and reading books. Sometimes we listen to music together.Mary is very generous.She is willing to share her things with her friends.And she is very helpful, She always gives her seat to people in need on the bus.
Mary is good at Maths.She always helps me with my Maths.We often go to library together at the weekend. And,Mary is a true friend,When something worries me,I always go to her,I can tell her evertthing because she can keep secrets for me.
I hope we can be good friends forever.
帮忙看一下有没有什么错误,谢谢!
vanbayern 1年前 已收到2个回答 举报

sfieck 幼苗

共回答了14个问题采纳率:100% 举报

如果要写good fd的话,一般都会说a one of my good fd,或者改为my best fd.Will 是没有present continues tense,建议改为She likes to.She will give her seat to other people which in need on the bus.(我认为这样比较好).And the ending can be:Mary,friendship forever!这样会比较亲切!(这是本人的小小意见^ ^)

1年前

7

shy汉子 幼苗

共回答了14个问题 举报

写的很好,没什么大的错误。建议你把things具体化一点,happiness and sorrow虽然俗了点,但不空洞。She always gives her seat to people in need on the bus. 建议把always换掉,否则太绝对了,有些过了头。去掉一些笼统和绝对化的词语会让你的文章听起来更加成熟。

1年前

1
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