求英语的一个搞笑的小故事,一定要短小.而且要翻译.

I'll See to the Rest其余的事由我负责
　　A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door,talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话.
　　"Come on,miss!" he shouted."Shut the door,please!"“快点,小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上.”
　　"Oh,I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.“噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢.”她回答道.
　　"You just shut that door,please," called the guard,"and I'll see to the rest."“请把门关上好了,”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责.”

How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way...

1. Why is he howling
Dentist:Please stop howling.I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient:I know ,but you are standing on my foot!
...

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?”
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“...