英语六级作文批改麻烦大家帮我批改一下这篇作文.任何错误都可以指出来,Direction:1.网络丰富和便利了人们的生活2

英语六级作文批改
麻烦大家帮我批改一下这篇作文.任何错误都可以指出来,
Direction:
1.网络丰富和便利了人们的生活
2.很多人开始对 形成依赖
3.我对此的看法
On Internet Addict
The exict of Internet makes our life more convenient more colorful and more abundant.We just need to click the keyboard to send a mail then few seconds later friends can receive the massage rather than go to the post office to the letter then several days later friend receive it.What’s more,the information on the internet is various and adequate.Study material,latest news ,fabulous stars,softwares for any kind of usage and so on.You can find out almost things you are concerned.
We indeed can’t deny that internet has made our life by far effective.However,more and more people can’t live in normal without internet.They are too rely on the internet to work or to study.Especially,teenagers,a part of them are addicted to video games,some teenagers even engrossed in the internet bar all day long with eating and sleeping in there.Meanwhile,there are so many unhealthy information on the internet which teenagers is hard to indentity.On the other hand,for most companies ,schools or any other organization,internet has become a indispensable tool,they can’t run normally without internet.
As for me,we need internet .We need effective working and life.So making a advisable use of internet and catching its shortcut are a great way to enhance our effective and to make our life batter.However,we shouldn’t ignore the negative aspect of internet.For this part ,some potent measures must be taken before things get worst.First,schools and parents should educate their teenagers about the threat of addiction to video games.Stepping up the communication between teenagers and parents/teachers.Color their part time job.Second,our laws should be made tougher shows zero tolerance to those bed information spreader.Third,organizations should make a back up for the important datas in case of the situation without internet suddenly.
如果有好的地方请帮忙指出来,不好的地方请尽情的指出、修改或者抨击!THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH!
mjm70 1年前 已收到3个回答 举报

小布谷 幼苗

共回答了17个问题采纳率:94.1% 举报

感觉中式英语的味道很浓.
写作的时候尽量用简单朴实的句子,不要过于追求语法和辞藻.

1年前

4

xhl800ee 幼苗

共回答了1个问题 举报

六级不考这个,可能性很大的是以下类型:
作文地带预测六级作文考点一、今年考试很可能是新闻稿,比如:写一篇反映社会现象的新闻稿件相关的英语作文。
相关范文作文地带正在拟写,不断更新中!
范文:
从英文新闻稿写作技巧及注意事项、作文地带在实际操作案例等方面做了细致的介绍。针对如何写好一篇英文新闻稿,Joozone Editor给出了9点的建议:
1、抓住新闻点

1年前

1

5edi 幼苗

共回答了4个问题 举报

很好个P
就仔细看了第一句 "存在"是exist不是exict
没时间看那么多 实话说 扫一眼的印象 顶多良好 想优秀多练练吧

1年前

0
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