帮忙修改一篇自我介绍Hello everyone,Iam of great honor to stand here an

suggestions:
1. do not use the word 'boy' - because your audience are looking at you. They know. Besides, boy implies immaturity. You are 19, you should have a certain life experience.
2. take out 'today" - a redundant time. Make a clean speech
3. no "very glad' - just use glad. It is difficult for a lot of comrades to pronounce very glad.
4. why do you say eager to be chosen - are you not already standing inside the summer camp compound? Or, you have to pitch to get in? If this is a 'pitch' speech. Then you need to sell yourself. delete 'and'. Make a new sentence: I am also with great anticipation of you selecting me into this great institution.
5. loose the 'and' after physics.
6. New sentence: My grades in middle school were always among the best.
7. Do not use "in my spare time'. My extracurricular are many but basketball and Chinese chess are my favorites. It is because they can train my body and mind.
8. question - are you a Southest University student now? If yes, why do you talked about hoping to be selected?
9. delete Havingentered in Southeast University, I am so satisfied with all people and viewshere. Try: Once becoming a member of the Southeast University family, I am confident I will meet many interesting people. I also firmly believe that in the next four years in this great university, I will have a rewarding life.
10. don't use 'by the way' - not formal. universities are usually on the conservative side. Try: I am a self motivated learner with a critical mind. I just need to have a chance to study in here for more personal and intellectual growth.
11. I pledgee to you I will work hard tirelessly to my best ability not only for myself but also for keeping the great reputation of this great university.
12. the last sentence should be a summary of what you have just said. But your sentence, once again, confused me if you are begging to be pick or you are already the chosen one. In either case, you cannot use the last sentence. It spoil the whole piece.
once you answered my question, I can refine some more points.
Your English is good. Your thinking is rather clear but not clean. You need to work on presentation. Practice in front of your friends and family. Time yourself. Know exactly how much time you'll need to finish.
I remember the first time I present a lecture, the prep time I put in is .
This goes out to everyone, do not use the word 'boy'. Many of you are no longer a boy. A boy is usually younger than 16. Over 16, you are a young adult. 'Boy' does not carry self confidence and maturity.

Hello everyone, it is a great honor to stand here and introduce myself to you (个人感觉一般来说自我介绍用不着说great honor. 可以简单地说I am glad that I had the opportunity to introduce myself.). My name is Liang Tong, a 1...

Hello , everyone! It's my honor to stand here and thank you all for your attention! My name is Tong Liang, a 19 year old boy from Ji Ning,Shan Dong Province. I am very glad to take part in the camp an...