Bob,not only friends,but also brother!

Bob,not only friends,but also brother!
Bob is one of my roommates in Sias.The first time I met him,he was very friendly.He asked me to have dinner together and we played basketball the next day!We have known each other for a year now,we are good friends.Bob has three positive qualities:Outgoing,Hardworking,and Generous!
Bob is the most outgoing boy I have known.The first time I met he is last year,the begin of my collage life.I was a little shy at that time,but he was not.He introduced himself first and asked me where I am from.Then we got friends.Last year,as a freshman in Sias,we had an Art Exam.We decided to perform a skit.The skit is a story about a girl save people life.We prepared it two weeks.It is not a long.But we did a good job.Bob acted a businessman.Bob not only has friends in our school,but also has friends out of school.When we go out to buy things.There are always having people say “Hello” to him.This owns his outgoing nature.
Bob also is a hardworking boy.He is the monitor in his class.When he takes class,he always sets in front of the classroom and takes note very carefully.Sometimes I ask him to play billiards and tell him that we need not do homework as well as senior school.But he does not agree with me.He said that we must work hard whatever we are!Bob always studies English when we go to bed.His English grade is the top 3 in his class.
Bob does not have much money.But he is very generous.When I or my roommates need money.He will lends us money at first time.The first term in Sisa we had to pay money for our books.But I did not take enough money with me.I was very worried!Bob saw me and asked me what happened.I told him that I need some money.Then he gave me 200 Yuan.When we went out to have meals together he always stranded trade it.
I am very happy to become friends with Bob.He teaches me a lot.He teaches me how to make friends and how to study.I thank him very much.I think that we can be friends all of my life!
帮忙修改英语作文!
我们英语写作是老外,我们写作格式是总分总,就是开头一段,结尾一段!
一篇文章有一个Thesis statement,三个Topic sentence,结尾再加一个Summary就行了!
这是我写的文章,老实说细节不够,帮忙增加点细节,尤其是第三段,让文章精彩一点!