请高手帮我改改雅思作文.主要是语法方面.

请高手帮我改改雅思作文.主要是语法方面.
Task:
Nowadays ,some work places tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers .Do you think it is a positive or negative development
In my opinion ,the trend to hire equal numbers of male and female workers is quite positive .
First of all .The majority of women are as capable as men in normal circumstances hence the society will be enhanced on account of lots of excellent women workers are participating in social competition .For instance .Mothers seldom went to work in the old days of China but now they do .Those powerful women have been taking care of lots of tiny things which had been ignoring by insensitive man for a significantly long time .Companies functions well because of this .
The second .Hiring equal figures of work stuffs of both sex can effectively improve social status of women in China which will be a vital improvement for Chinese society .For example ,most of women had no job and no income as well ten years ago in China and that was a main limitation which kept women out of making essential contributions to the nation and then led to have a lower status .The situation is much more different from the past .Nowadays ,women are making contributions and bringing profits to society as well and their social status are dramatically changed subsequently
All in all .Giving equal chances to both male and female is a great phenomenon .At least it would make a big difference in China .