第一次写雅思小作文,请高手给我看看有哪些不足,有没有语法错误!

The bar chart shows the percentage of different transport【transportation transport只是运输的意思你的本意是交通工具吧】 used 【to】work in London, 【不要逗号】in the year of 1990,2000, and 2010 respectively.
According to this bar chart, there were four mainly【there were mainly four】 forms of transportation that【不用that了】 including car, subway, bus and other ways in London. Drive【driving】 is the most popular means of transport, which have【占据account for】 almost 30 to 50 percent 【of】people use【之前加of的原因是因为我觉得这里的use是名词这个随便你了】.
During these 20【这种不是主要数据又比较短的数字用twenty】 years, it can see an interesting phenomenon,【不要逗号加which】 less and less people drive car but more and more people take the subway【不要the改成subways】 to work. As 【it】can be seen in the chart, there was a decline sharply【sharp decline?】 of percentage 【percentage change】of car from 50 to 30 percent【要么直接写50%要么写fifty percent】 between 1990 and 2010. On the other hand, the percentage of subway just【only好点】 occupied 8 percent in 1990. However, this【the】 amount had【experienced】 a huge【最好别用huge.这是形容体积的】 change in the next 10 years, the percentage of subway improved【increased】 to 32 percent in 2000, and it continued growth【growing】 to 2010.
At the same time, the use of bus and other way【ways】of transportation was remain【was 和remain都是动词 remained直接】stable. There was almost 15 percent people that take【took】 bus or choose【choosing】 other ways to go to work.