谁帮我做下这个短文改错One day the sun was very strong,Jim was so tired

谁帮我做下这个短文改错
One day the sun was very strong,Jim was so tired
to walk.There was no trees near the road ,so he rested
under a big rock.After drinking some water ,he took his
shirt,lay down on the ground and fall asleep at once.
he was very tired that he didn't wake up until the evening.
he was just about to jump while he felt something moving
near his feet.He looked up and saw a long black snake.
Jim was so frightening that he didn't dare to move .The
snake began to crawl across his legs.It crawled on and
on until it was disappeared under the rocks,Jim jumped
to his feet, picked up his shirt and ran down the road.
并解释一下为什么那么改